Saturday, June 11, 2016

An Open Letter to Carleen Turner (Brock Turner's mom)

Pretty much everyone that has an internet connection has heard about your son, Brock Turner. It's been trending everywhere. I'm sure a simple google search would supply me with hundreds upon hundreds of articles about your son- complete with his smiling school picture. No mug shots for him- not unless you dig for them, that is.

When your husband's letter to the Judge Pesky became viral (http://heavy.com/news/2016/06/brock-turner-father-dad-dan-turner-full-letter-statement-stanford-rapist/), many of my friends wondered out loud what you thought. How you, a woman, would feel about your son raping an unconscious woman on January 18th, 2015.

Well today, I found out: http://heavy.com/news/2016/06/carleen-brock-turner-mother-mom-letter-judge-stanford-rape-beautiful-son-parents/

First, I'd like to say that your love for your child shines thru out the entirety of this letter. Hey, I get it. This is your son. You love him. You don't stop loving your child, no matter how atrocious their actions might be.

Still, not one sentence in your letter is dedicated to the pain and lifetime suffering that this young woman will have to endure, and all because your son raped her. And please say it with me, Carleen. Your son is a rapist. I know it, you know it, and the whole world knows it. He was caught by two other men raping her. There is no doubt of this. I know this is a hard pill for you to swallow, but that doesn't make it any less true.

Your son ran when he was confronted, Carleen. He tried to flee the scene.

Reading the context of your letter, I know you're an educated woman. I know that should you think logically on this? You'd know that innocent people don't run. Your son ran for one simple reason. He ran because he thought he would get in trouble. Which means that he knew his actions were questionable at best. He knew that his behavior was wrong, and this is why he ran.

As you explained to the judge, and now the world, that your son does not come from affluence, you take many things for granted.

First, you speak about student loans and debt. In the same letter, you speak of being able to stay home with your child. This, Carleen, is indeed a luxury that many parents don't have. I too am a stay at home mother. No, I'm not wealthy. Yes, I make sacrifices. I also understand that staying home with my daughter is a luxury that many people can't afford to do. There are parents working multiple jobs to make sure their children are taken care of. To you, this isn't affluence. To many, it absolutely is.

You speak about your home that you sold. To be closer to your son. I don't have that luxury, Carleen. I rent my home. This too is a luxury that you seem to overlook. You sold your house because of the added expenses of Brock being in school. There are people out there that don't even have such an option. They work multiple jobs. They have to live off their student loans. They don't have a mommy and daddy to help them with their schooling at all. They're on their own. So, yes, Carleen. This is also affluence, whether you care to admit it or not.

As you wax poetic about Brock, I can't help but notice that you have a daughter. A female child. Out of everything you wrote? This one fact bothers me the most. That you have a daughter.

I feel that if this was your daughter instead of your son, we'd be hearing a very different argument from you, Carleen. No doubt you'd be outraged. You'd feel that your daughter was violated, and you'd want justice for her. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that you'd want the strictest sentence for the person who hurt your child.

Instead, your son is the perpetrator. As such, your vision is clouded on this matter...but it shouldn't be.

You are a woman. A woman with a female child. A woman that unless you've been living under a rock, has had to endure some level of unwanted sexual advances in her life. A woman who if she spoke to her own daughter, would probably hear the same thing from her.

I sincerely hope that above your protection of Brock, that you're letting him know what he did was wrong. I hope you're holding him accountable for his own actions. I hope that you understand that it doesn't matter how much she drank- that she shouldn't have to worry about being raped because another person has such a lack of self control. That considering what he did, that being registered as a tier 3 sex offender and getting three to six months in jail is a cake walk. Especially considering what his victim had to endure.

I really hope you're letting him know how wrong his actions were, Carleen.

I have a daughter, too, Carleen. She's only 5 years old, but the anxiety and fear is very real for me. I have to protect her from the "Brocks" of this world. As I'm sure you'd protect your own daughter in this situation.

Part of protecting our daughters from this behavior is holding those who would hurt them accountable for their actions.

Don't stop loving your son. Just love yourself and your own daughter enough to hold your son accountable for the actions he took on that night In January.

Please.