Friday, January 25, 2013

Caillou is the worst cartoon EVER

*Caillou picture courtesy of sproutonline.com*

My daughter loves Caillou. She dances and waves her arms wildly whenever this cartoon is on. I'm not dancing though, I'm weeping. Seriously. Caillou is a four year old boy that sucks at life. His name, which is french, translates to something like "pebble" or "small stone". He is white but is as shiny on the head as a cue ball, and he is to supposedly encompass EVERY child. This makes PERFECT sense because all I see when I walk out my door are bald 4 year old children that are ALWAYS white.

His parents are the most perfect parents ever in the world, with an amazing amount of patience that can only come from heavy pot smoking and popping tranquilizers like candy. Maybe I'm just not a good enough mombie. That MUST be what it is. I must be doing something wrong when Caillou's mom and dad, who look remarkably like they're brother and sister, can keep their cool with a 4 year old AND a 2 year old. Caillou's grandmother narrates the stories. Apparently she knows his innermost thoughts at all times. Or maybe Caillou tells her, because everyone knows that a 4 year is obviously a wordsmith. In addition, stalking laws must be very lax in Canada.

All of this could be overlooked if it weren't for Caillou's crappola attitude. He whines. Constantly. "But I don't want tooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" Did I tell you he whines? He has temper tantrums and gets what can only be described as an angry look on his face when things don't go his way. His sister, Rosie, is commonly ignored for the almighty boy king Caillou, and she has hair! Maybe it's because Rosie isn't really Mr. Caillou's daughter. Maybe Mrs. Caillou went out on a bender because of Caillou's excessive whining and got herself some strange. Who knows? All I know is that Caillou is sorta a douche. Luckily, his little cartoon of terror comes on when my daughter is napping now so we don't see it as much. I guess Jesus really DOES love me.

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